Living by obligation seems to be the norm
Dreams of authenticity thrown away
The most important choices a person has to face in life...
Are made when it's "the right time"
it's "the right time" to say "I love you,"
it's "the right time" to say "I do"
it's "the right time" to say "Let's procreate"
When perhaps "the right time" is not right at all
Milestones achieved with an artificial sense of passion & inspiration
Beyond the facade, ringing hollow
How many times have people taken a shitty relationship to the "next level" because it's "the right time."
Motivated by the underlying fear of pain or discomfort
Loneliness
Living life by "shoulds" and "have to's"
How many of these could we do without?
How many people bring another human being into the world because they think they have to?
"I'm not getting any younger,"
"You'll never feel 'ready' so might as well do it now."
"Its the only way to be fulfilled"
"It's the right time"
It's "the right time"
To settle down
You can't be wild and passionate forever
Imagine the uncertainty of it all...
Follow the check list of fulfillment
Ready...set...go!!!
Career (check!)
Marriage (check!)
House (check!)
Children (check!)
What if I never want to check that box?
Will people accept me?
Will I be happy?
If not the checklist...
How will I get from A to B?
And what the hell are "A" and "B"?
Do "A" and "B" even exist?
Amidst the madness
Be present and aware
Authentic, above all
Be true to your core values
They are yours
And if you don't know what they are
Explore
The structure of life around you will tempt you with comforting answers
Manufactured certainty slashing your anxiety
Check lists, meaningful milestones
The Right Time
But I say, swim around in your uncertainty
Embrace the unknown
Delight in it
Choose with inspiration & adventure
Make your own blue prints
And throw away the fucking clock
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Cultivating Positivity
A large part of my adventures in awareness involves monitoring my thoughts. Thoughts, feelings and behaviors are all intertwined, and can have a profound impact on daily functioning and overall wellbeing. Often times, people in distress will try to change their feelings directly, thinking "I shouldn't feel this way." But in fact these kind of thoughts only perpetuate negative feelings. Rather than just feeling bad, you feel bad about feeling bad.
One rule of the thumb I try to live by is: "There is no such thing as a 'wrong' feeling." Whatever you are feeling, you are entitled to it. What matters is how you react to your feeling. In other words, even though you cannot control the way you feel, you have control over what thoughts and behaviors you generate in response to your feeling. This doesn't mean it's easy to change your thoughts and behaviors, but over time improvements can be made. Ultimately these improvements will lead to more permanent changes in automatic thoughts and emotional reactions.
Changing feelings takes time. But in the moment, you can chose what thoughts to think.
However, there is an exception to this. Just like emotional reactions, we have automatic thoughts (thoughts we cannot control), and often times these thoughts are negative. Whether they are about ourselves (I'm no good," "I can't do it."), about others ("she thinks she's better than me," "he doesn't care about me") or about the world ("life's unfair," "there's no hope for humanity."), everyone has them. Some just happen to have them more than others. While an automatic thought cannot be "rid of" it can be redirected and balanced. Rather than ruminating over these automatic negative thoughts, you can transition to positive ones. Look for the silver lining, give people the benefit of the doubt, attune yourself to positive posibilities and find evidence that contradicts your negative thoughts. Cultivate positivity.
But why is positivity important?
Positive thinking has been shown to have beneficial effects in several areas of life. Below I have included an excerpt from mayoclinic.com about the impact of positive thinking:
Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:
Sounds pretty good, right? So, why aren't more people optimistic? These are the reasons that seem most likely to me:
1) The brain has evolved to notice the negative. Preventing potential danger or threat is more critical to survival than delighting in the joys of life.
2) Socially, negative events are more interesting to talk about. If you don't believe me, watch the news.
3) Many people assume that their feelings=reality. If you are feeling sad, angry, threatened etc, it is easy to interpret the situation in a way that is congruent with these emotions.
4) Negative thinking can be used to avoid situations that are scary or uncomfortable. For instance if you believe "I can't do it" then you never have to try, thus avoiding possible failure or rejection.
5) Negativity may be an ingrained habit learned early in life. If those around you engaged in negative thought patterns, you probably learned to think this way also.
5) People are generally afraid of breaking away from their point of view or seeing the world as uncertain or ambiguous. Entertaining positive thoughts requires you to consider that your perception of reality might not be accurate. Scarrrryyyyyyy.
6) Sometimes positive thinking "doesn't work." Many people try to think positive but still end up feeling bad or making poor choices. As a result they give up on positive thinking.
6) Positive thinking takes work! Cultivating positivity takes time, effort and awareness.
Although positive thinking takes work, I would argue: it's worth it! My chosen experiment for the week is: to see the positive in others. My hope is that by doing so I will have better interactions with others, improved quality in my relationships, and a better self-concept.
One situation that I have noticed where negativity towards others creeps in, is in the face of ignorance. I am extrememly irritated by ignorance, in fact I might even go as far to say I loathe ignorance. When people make (what I perceive as) misinformed comments, irrational generalizations, intolerant judgements, overconfident assertions, or state opinions as fact...I get so angry!! This is particularly true when I may know more about a given subject and my voice is not even heard. As a result I may harbor negative feelings towards a person or make negative judgements about their intellect or integrity.
On some level I think its okay for me to hate ignorance, but I still want to try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Above all, I do not want to let my emotional reaction to perceived ignorance to negatively affect my relationships or personal conduct.
Despite my motivation to make this change, I know finding the silver lining in this type of circumstance will be especially challenging for me. Some other negative thoughts that I want to direct myself away from include:
1) Assuming someone thinks negative things about me (e.g. thinking I'm stupid, boring, annoying, etc.)
2) Thinking that someone is trying to intentionally piss me off or snub me
3) Thinking that someone perceives themself as "better than me" in some way
4) Labeling or judging people (e.g. that person is dumb, lazy, conceited, selfish, attention-starved, ignorant)
5) Interpreting annoying or distressing behaviors as "intentional"
6) Thinking that someone has ulterior motives when they are doing something positive
7) Interpreting lack of positive attention from a person as an indicator of their dislike of me or that they "don't care."
These are just a few of the many examples of negative thoughts that one might have in regard to another person. My goal is to try an experiment in Positive Sentiment Override (e.g. always giving someone the benefit of the doubt). To do so I will utilize my positive filter, focusing on the most positive interpretation of the person/siutation that I can given the evidence that is presented to me.
Perhaps at times my positive interpretation will be false, but if the situation is ambiguous, what advantage does it give me to assume the negative without first gathering more information? During this experiment I will pay attention to the challenges and drawbacks of interpreting others positively, as well as the benefits. I'm hoping for mostly benefits.
"If you dislike someone, the way they hold their fork will make you furious. But if you like them, they can turn their plate over in your lap and you won't even mind."
--John Gottman, Ph.D, famous couples therapist & researcher
----------------------------------------------------------------
If you're interested in watching a short video about How to Practice Positive Thinking watch here !
My cavaets to "positive thinking." Positive thinking should NOT be used to:
One rule of the thumb I try to live by is: "There is no such thing as a 'wrong' feeling." Whatever you are feeling, you are entitled to it. What matters is how you react to your feeling. In other words, even though you cannot control the way you feel, you have control over what thoughts and behaviors you generate in response to your feeling. This doesn't mean it's easy to change your thoughts and behaviors, but over time improvements can be made. Ultimately these improvements will lead to more permanent changes in automatic thoughts and emotional reactions.
Changing feelings takes time. But in the moment, you can chose what thoughts to think.
However, there is an exception to this. Just like emotional reactions, we have automatic thoughts (thoughts we cannot control), and often times these thoughts are negative. Whether they are about ourselves (I'm no good," "I can't do it."), about others ("she thinks she's better than me," "he doesn't care about me") or about the world ("life's unfair," "there's no hope for humanity."), everyone has them. Some just happen to have them more than others. While an automatic thought cannot be "rid of" it can be redirected and balanced. Rather than ruminating over these automatic negative thoughts, you can transition to positive ones. Look for the silver lining, give people the benefit of the doubt, attune yourself to positive posibilities and find evidence that contradicts your negative thoughts. Cultivate positivity.
Positive thinking has been shown to have beneficial effects in several areas of life. Below I have included an excerpt from mayoclinic.com about the impact of positive thinking:
Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:
- Increased life span
- Lower rates of depression
- Lower levels of distress
- Greater resistance to the common cold
- Better psychological and physical well-being
- Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
- Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress
1) The brain has evolved to notice the negative. Preventing potential danger or threat is more critical to survival than delighting in the joys of life.
2) Socially, negative events are more interesting to talk about. If you don't believe me, watch the news.
3) Many people assume that their feelings=reality. If you are feeling sad, angry, threatened etc, it is easy to interpret the situation in a way that is congruent with these emotions.
4) Negative thinking can be used to avoid situations that are scary or uncomfortable. For instance if you believe "I can't do it" then you never have to try, thus avoiding possible failure or rejection.
5) Negativity may be an ingrained habit learned early in life. If those around you engaged in negative thought patterns, you probably learned to think this way also.
5) People are generally afraid of breaking away from their point of view or seeing the world as uncertain or ambiguous. Entertaining positive thoughts requires you to consider that your perception of reality might not be accurate. Scarrrryyyyyyy.
6) Sometimes positive thinking "doesn't work." Many people try to think positive but still end up feeling bad or making poor choices. As a result they give up on positive thinking.
6) Positive thinking takes work! Cultivating positivity takes time, effort and awareness.
Although positive thinking takes work, I would argue: it's worth it! My chosen experiment for the week is: to see the positive in others. My hope is that by doing so I will have better interactions with others, improved quality in my relationships, and a better self-concept.
One situation that I have noticed where negativity towards others creeps in, is in the face of ignorance. I am extrememly irritated by ignorance, in fact I might even go as far to say I loathe ignorance. When people make (what I perceive as) misinformed comments, irrational generalizations, intolerant judgements, overconfident assertions, or state opinions as fact...I get so angry!! This is particularly true when I may know more about a given subject and my voice is not even heard. As a result I may harbor negative feelings towards a person or make negative judgements about their intellect or integrity.
On some level I think its okay for me to hate ignorance, but I still want to try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Above all, I do not want to let my emotional reaction to perceived ignorance to negatively affect my relationships or personal conduct.
Despite my motivation to make this change, I know finding the silver lining in this type of circumstance will be especially challenging for me. Some other negative thoughts that I want to direct myself away from include:
1) Assuming someone thinks negative things about me (e.g. thinking I'm stupid, boring, annoying, etc.)
2) Thinking that someone is trying to intentionally piss me off or snub me
3) Thinking that someone perceives themself as "better than me" in some way
4) Labeling or judging people (e.g. that person is dumb, lazy, conceited, selfish, attention-starved, ignorant)
5) Interpreting annoying or distressing behaviors as "intentional"
6) Thinking that someone has ulterior motives when they are doing something positive
7) Interpreting lack of positive attention from a person as an indicator of their dislike of me or that they "don't care."
These are just a few of the many examples of negative thoughts that one might have in regard to another person. My goal is to try an experiment in Positive Sentiment Override (e.g. always giving someone the benefit of the doubt). To do so I will utilize my positive filter, focusing on the most positive interpretation of the person/siutation that I can given the evidence that is presented to me.
Perhaps at times my positive interpretation will be false, but if the situation is ambiguous, what advantage does it give me to assume the negative without first gathering more information? During this experiment I will pay attention to the challenges and drawbacks of interpreting others positively, as well as the benefits. I'm hoping for mostly benefits.
"If you dislike someone, the way they hold their fork will make you furious. But if you like them, they can turn their plate over in your lap and you won't even mind."
--John Gottman, Ph.D, famous couples therapist & researcher
----------------------------------------------------------------
If you're interested in watching a short video about How to Practice Positive Thinking watch here !
My cavaets to "positive thinking." Positive thinking should NOT be used to:
- Ignore or avoid problems
- Assume that things will "work out" without putting in effort or using good judgement
- Invalidate someone's feelings (i.e. not empathizing & acknowleding their negative experience)
- Perpetuate irrational beliefs (e.g. "I'm going to win the lottery")
- Disregard or "get over" your own negative feelings without properly addressing them
- Discount facts or scientific evidence
- Avoid getting help when you need it (assuming that positive thinking is all you need)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Exercising my breath
NOTE: Although this post is titled July 27th, it is actually one I wrote on May 27th after I had actually practiced deep breathing exercises for a week. I had saved it as a draft and now remembered to publish it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It has been over a week since I began my experiments with deep breathing. With the exception of Monday I have been consistently practicing every day. I admit it can be hard to justify the 10 minutes. What does that say about my ingrained views on relaxation? After all, if I hadn't made relaxing a concrete goal for myself (i.e. an objective measure of productivity), would I have even done it at all?
Probably not.
Many people feel like they should be able to "handle" everything. I don't need help, I don't need to relax, I can cope, I can keep going. While I would say positive self-talk and self-motivation are two very admirable, adaptive, and healthy qualities, sometimes people can deny themselves the help they need under the facade of "being strong." From my standpoint, knowing when to engage in self-care and doing so in a healthy, productive way IS strong.
I say all this because there is the assumption that relaxing is a waste of time. Even as I commited myself every day to doing so, automatic thoughts of skepticism and doubt set in. How can I make this a habit if I'm still trying to convince myself it really works?
In order to address these feelings, on some of the days I recorded my automatic thoughts and my stress levels pre and post relaxation (on a scale of 1-10). I noticed that my subjective report of stress lowered an average of 2 points after the relaxation exercises (e.g. from a 5/10 to a 3/10). Perhaps there were other benefits during the day that I did not even notice. Perhaps I was more calm overall, and better able to handle the stress of the day. It's hard to tell what kind of lasting effects my relaxation might be having at this point in time but here are some things I have noticed immediately following a 10 minute deep breathing relaxation session:
1. Slightly decreased stress levels
2. Decreased heart rate
3. More awareness of how I'm feeling (e.g. anxious, stressed, irritated)
4. Feeling more calm and rejuvenated afterwards
5. Greater mental clarity
6. More positive thoughts about myself and the world
Some normal challenges one might experience with relaxation:
1. Feeling like it's a waste of time
2. Being skeptical about whether it will really "work"
3. Trying to push away feelings rather then just let them be, or pass on their own
4. Having difficulty quieting the mind; racing thoughts
5. Feeling unable to relax
6. Being distracted and not focusing on the deep breathing
7. Feeling uncomfortable with the deep breathing
8. And in some cases, trying to relax can provoke intense anxiety (if you have severe anxiety problems)
Just because you experience some of these challenges does not mean that you are doing something wrong: it's normal!! Relaxation, mindfulness, deep breathing, and meditation all take practice. The key is to try to let your feelings be, rather than to fight them. Accept how you feel but don't preoccupy yourself with it. With such a practice, you will be on your way to more mindful living and greater management of your fluctuating emotions.
I recognize that this is easier said than done. Even if you are unable to set aside time each day to engage in a relaxation exercise, you can take with you the spirit and principles of this technique. When you're starting to feel stressed, angry or upset acknowledge your feeling, accept it, let it be, and take a few deep breaths. You might be surprised how quickly the intensity of the emotion fades away and you are on to your next adventure in the day.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It has been over a week since I began my experiments with deep breathing. With the exception of Monday I have been consistently practicing every day. I admit it can be hard to justify the 10 minutes. What does that say about my ingrained views on relaxation? After all, if I hadn't made relaxing a concrete goal for myself (i.e. an objective measure of productivity), would I have even done it at all?
Probably not.
Many people feel like they should be able to "handle" everything. I don't need help, I don't need to relax, I can cope, I can keep going. While I would say positive self-talk and self-motivation are two very admirable, adaptive, and healthy qualities, sometimes people can deny themselves the help they need under the facade of "being strong." From my standpoint, knowing when to engage in self-care and doing so in a healthy, productive way IS strong.
I say all this because there is the assumption that relaxing is a waste of time. Even as I commited myself every day to doing so, automatic thoughts of skepticism and doubt set in. How can I make this a habit if I'm still trying to convince myself it really works?
In order to address these feelings, on some of the days I recorded my automatic thoughts and my stress levels pre and post relaxation (on a scale of 1-10). I noticed that my subjective report of stress lowered an average of 2 points after the relaxation exercises (e.g. from a 5/10 to a 3/10). Perhaps there were other benefits during the day that I did not even notice. Perhaps I was more calm overall, and better able to handle the stress of the day. It's hard to tell what kind of lasting effects my relaxation might be having at this point in time but here are some things I have noticed immediately following a 10 minute deep breathing relaxation session:
1. Slightly decreased stress levels
2. Decreased heart rate
3. More awareness of how I'm feeling (e.g. anxious, stressed, irritated)
4. Feeling more calm and rejuvenated afterwards
5. Greater mental clarity
6. More positive thoughts about myself and the world
Some normal challenges one might experience with relaxation:
1. Feeling like it's a waste of time
2. Being skeptical about whether it will really "work"
3. Trying to push away feelings rather then just let them be, or pass on their own
4. Having difficulty quieting the mind; racing thoughts
5. Feeling unable to relax
6. Being distracted and not focusing on the deep breathing
7. Feeling uncomfortable with the deep breathing
8. And in some cases, trying to relax can provoke intense anxiety (if you have severe anxiety problems)
Just because you experience some of these challenges does not mean that you are doing something wrong: it's normal!! Relaxation, mindfulness, deep breathing, and meditation all take practice. The key is to try to let your feelings be, rather than to fight them. Accept how you feel but don't preoccupy yourself with it. With such a practice, you will be on your way to more mindful living and greater management of your fluctuating emotions.
I recognize that this is easier said than done. Even if you are unable to set aside time each day to engage in a relaxation exercise, you can take with you the spirit and principles of this technique. When you're starting to feel stressed, angry or upset acknowledge your feeling, accept it, let it be, and take a few deep breaths. You might be surprised how quickly the intensity of the emotion fades away and you are on to your next adventure in the day.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Challenges in Relaxation
Relaxation is not something that comes easy to me. For much of my life I've been an anxious person, always worrying about what I'm going to do next. "If I don't worry about it, it's not going to get done," I might think. I have learned to become less anxious over time but there is always room to grow. One domain that this is particularly true is in the realm of relaxation.
I don't particularly enjoy relaxing. On my days off I want to be out and about, not lounging around For instance, when I go on vacation I've never really been one to enjoy laying out by a pool. I feel lazy and like I'm wasting time. And wasting time is one of the worst things a person can do. After all, we only have one life to live!
I realize that this is embedded in my culture and upbringing that success = productivity. "Be active. Go, go go!" And I genuinely enjoy this lifestyle, most of the time. I like being busy. I don't want to sit around the house on my days off, and I doubt that's going to change any time soon.
So here begins my experiment with deep breathing and relaxing every day for 10 minutes. It still feels like a waste of time sometimes (afterall, I could use the time to exercise instead), but I'm keeping an open mind.
To be continued...
I don't particularly enjoy relaxing. On my days off I want to be out and about, not lounging around For instance, when I go on vacation I've never really been one to enjoy laying out by a pool. I feel lazy and like I'm wasting time. And wasting time is one of the worst things a person can do. After all, we only have one life to live!
I realize that this is embedded in my culture and upbringing that success = productivity. "Be active. Go, go go!" And I genuinely enjoy this lifestyle, most of the time. I like being busy. I don't want to sit around the house on my days off, and I doubt that's going to change any time soon.
On the other hand without relaxation, stress and anxiety build. The sympathetic nervous system goes into overdrive leading to more stress. And we all know that too much stress is counterproductive to success and contributes to a variety of health conditions including: heart disease, stroke, depression, anxiety, digestive problems, sleep disturbance, and concentration/memory difficulties. Stress is inevitable but how we cope with it is not. A simple way to relieve stress and anxiety relates to the most basic human function: breathing.
Yesterday I was speaking with my supervisor and we arrived at the topic of deep breathing. He expressed to me the importance of breathing, particularly in relation to treating clients with anxiety, and how to properly deep breathe. The major guidline that a person needs to know is that the breath should be visible from the stomach, not from the chest. Try taking a deep breath. Did your chest rise? If so you are actually causing more stress in your sympathetic nervous system. Tension is sustained, not relieved.
My supervisor also emphasized the fact that I would not be able to properly teach breathing or mindfulness to my clients unless I had a proficient understanding of it myself. He suggested that in order to begin to understand deep breathing it's necessary to practice it every day for at least 2 weeks. Ideally you'd practice 2x/day for 15 minutes, but I have committed to practicing 1x/day for 10 minutes.
My supervisor also emphasized the fact that I would not be able to properly teach breathing or mindfulness to my clients unless I had a proficient understanding of it myself. He suggested that in order to begin to understand deep breathing it's necessary to practice it every day for at least 2 weeks. Ideally you'd practice 2x/day for 15 minutes, but I have committed to practicing 1x/day for 10 minutes.
I am still learning about the benefits that breathing can bring. Many people brush these benefits off, as I have many times in the past. I have to admit I don't particularly like the feeling of breathing through my stomach, it makes me feel weird and like I have a protruding pregnant belly...but I'm getting used to it.
I have had a decent amount of experience with taking slow breaths from my years of yoga practice, so in this way the concept of deep breathing makes sense. When I focus on breathing I aim for at least 5 counts for an inhale and 5 counts for an exhale. I also have learned to notice when I am starting to feel anxious or frustrated, and I focus on taking deep breaths in order to calm my body and mind. But in terms of relaxing, breathing deeply and meditating for 10 minutes STRAIGHT, that is not something I'm particularly good at. For example every time I'm in yoga and we are supposed to lay down and clear our minds, mine goes CHITTER CHATTER!
To be continued...
Monday, May 17, 2010
Munching Mindfully
An exercise in mindfulness that I am currently experimenting with is mindful eating. This means focusing my awareness on the tastes, textures, scents, and sights provided by food. Rather than eating passively, I am trying to eat deliberately so that I can savour my food.
Eating is so simple and routine that it's easy to eat on autopilot. You may barely even notice how much you are eating, or exactly what it tastes like. Maybe you are eating on the go, in front of a TV, or while you're attention is occupied. The food disappears but you hardly register the process it took to eat it.
This kind of eating is perpetuated by our culture. Productivity is one of America's most cherished values, and if you are taking too much time to eat, you're wasting time. Equally, our culture has a lot of shame and guilt attached to food. Thinness is worshiped like a God, so eating is often seen as gluttonous and self-indulgent. Especially for those who have experiences with dieting, poor body image or eating disorders, eating can become a task riddled with guilt and regret. After a weekend of breaking from a diet I might say "I was bad this weekend" or if I adhered to a diet plan I might say "I was really good." Since when did food become a battle between good vs. evil?
As a society we eat fast and suffer from a host of mixed messages. On one hand we are confronted with thoughts like "Oh wow that chocolate cake looks so heavenly!"or "I don't have time to cook a meal, I'll just pick up some fast food." And on the other hand we might be trying to lose weight and live a "healthy" lifestyle. Indulge. Deprive. Be thin. Eat cheeseburgers. Huh?
Is it possible to eat with pleasure without the over-indulgence or the guilt? To eat for enjoyment, but also for sustenance? This is why I think mindful eating can help...
I am normally a fast eater. I can hardly help it. Even though I enjoy, appreciate and analyze food I still eat soooo fast! I have been trying to slow down but have found myself largely unsuccessful. Sometimes I am so hungry by the time I eat dinner that I devour my food, other times I'm distracted and eat fast out of habit, and other times I find myself unconsciously feeling like if I don't eat my food fast enough, it's somehow going to disappear (when in reality it's the other way around). And perhaps some of the time I am eating fast to avoid feelings of discomfort or guilt. However, the main reason I eat fast is plain and simple: habit.
By eating with awareness my hope is that I can break this habit. If I try to tune into my food, I will naturally slow down and be more aware when I am starting to eat fast. By eating slower I can enjoy my food, register what I have ate, and have a better sense of when I am full. I can have a healthier relationship with food. Rather than feeling guilty about enjoying food I can embrace it. And interestingly the result will not be that I will eat more, but rather that I eat less.
So far my experiments with mindful eating have had the following effects:
1) Food tastes more robust. My taste buds seem more stimulated and am able to sense the multitude of flavors integrated within the food.
2) My ability to analyze ingredients in food has been enhanced. (This helps me replicate recipes with greater ease).
3) I have been eating a lot slower.
4) I feel calm, patient, and content (as opposed to rushed, ravenous, anxious, or guilty)
5) I feel full faster.
6) The process of eating feels like an "experience" rather than a routine.
7) I feel more satisfied by the food. By focusing on it's features, I am able to register them better. This makes it easier to stop eating when I am full.
8) I have started noticing textures and physical sensations of food that I didn't pay attention to before
So far it has been a worthwhile experience. Even practicing eating mindfully for a few minutes of a meal can be a good exercise. Perhaps one day I will be able to eat at a slower pace and with greater satisfaction all the time. It's not easy to break habits but over time they can get better.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
What is Mindfulness?
A large part of my adventures in awareness will involve the practice of mindfulness. When I speak about mindfulness with others I most often get a reaction of confusion or skepticism. "What kind of hippie mumbo-jumbo are you blabbering on about?" I imagine they are thinking.
It may sound ethereal to some but in reality the concept of mindfulness is rather simple. The best way I can describe it is the practice of present awareness. It involves living in the moment and paying attention to the now...in a calm, non-judging way. This involves becoming aware of your internal stimuli (your thoughts, feelings, and sensations) in relation to your environment, and just letting them be. Just observe and accept.
Mindfulness originated as a Buddhist spiritual practice but has since infiltrated the Western world, especially within the realm of Psychology. Mindfulness has been applied to a variety of mental health issues including: depression, anxiety, pain management, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), ADHD, substance abuse, stress, suicidal behavior, and even weight loss. The therapeutic benefits of mindfulness have been well studied and are gaining momentum in psychotherapy and popular culture. Not only does mindfulness help treat several health issues, but it also enhances overall wellness and satisfaction in life.
My personal reasons for wanting to become more aware and mindful are as follows:
1. I will be more present with others. I believe being present leads to active listening, rich conversation and genuine human connection. Have you ever talked to someone who was not paying attention or seemed unengaged in your conversation? Not very fun is it? This is the kind of behavior I'm trying to avoid.
2. I want to become more familiar with my surroundings. This requires attention and awareness.
3. I do not want to get so caught up in the past or the future, that I do not enjoy the now. If you're in the habit of anticipating the future or on ruminating/reminiscing about the past, you're never really enjoying where you are at.
4. I will be able to dispel negative thoughts and/or anxiety more quickly. By being mindful and simply allowing my feelings to happen and paying attention to my physiology, I will be more efficient at redirecting my focus to more constructive thoughts and feelings.
5. It will help me become more in tune with my senses. I will be able to see more clearly, hear more profoundly, touch more sensitively, taste more fully, and smell more deeply. I will be able to perceive more of what life has to offer my human limits.
6. I will be better at "thinking before reacting". By being aware of my thoughts/feelings etc. I will more carefully consider my reaction to a given situation. Therefore, I'll make wiser choices.
7. I will be able to develop a new vigor for life. By being mindful I can savor the moment, notice things that are novel to me, and appreciate what I have more fully. Enthusiasm for the NOW!
8. I will be more successful with my clients. Not only will I be more adept at being active and present with my clients, but I will be able to teach them what I have learned about mindfulness.
9. I will gain greater satisfaction from my work. By staying in the present moment I will be immersed in my work, rather than anticipating when my shift is over or focusing on the dread I may feel related to an upcoming task.
10. I'll be able to enjoy my free time more. Rather than preoccupying myself with stressors, thoughts of work, or the future, I will be able to relish the moments where I am most content. When a moment may seem dull, I'll see the opportunity to make it exciting!
11. I will be more in touch with "reality" or the existence of multiple realities. When you are mindful, you start to understand that your unexamined feelings/reactions to a situations do not represent ultimate reality. Being in the moment gives you the chance to see things you might not ordinarily see, and break from typical interpretations of the world around you. Less assuming, more observing and questioning.
12. I will learn more about myself, others, and the world around me. I love exploring new knowledge and insights. Awareness is where it all begins.
13. I will be able to make more positive changes for myself and others. Without awareness, areas for growth or improvement cannot be pursued. To solve a problem, you must first know there is a problem.
It may sound ethereal to some but in reality the concept of mindfulness is rather simple. The best way I can describe it is the practice of present awareness. It involves living in the moment and paying attention to the now...in a calm, non-judging way. This involves becoming aware of your internal stimuli (your thoughts, feelings, and sensations) in relation to your environment, and just letting them be. Just observe and accept.
Mindfulness originated as a Buddhist spiritual practice but has since infiltrated the Western world, especially within the realm of Psychology. Mindfulness has been applied to a variety of mental health issues including: depression, anxiety, pain management, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), ADHD, substance abuse, stress, suicidal behavior, and even weight loss. The therapeutic benefits of mindfulness have been well studied and are gaining momentum in psychotherapy and popular culture. Not only does mindfulness help treat several health issues, but it also enhances overall wellness and satisfaction in life.
My personal reasons for wanting to become more aware and mindful are as follows:
1. I will be more present with others. I believe being present leads to active listening, rich conversation and genuine human connection. Have you ever talked to someone who was not paying attention or seemed unengaged in your conversation? Not very fun is it? This is the kind of behavior I'm trying to avoid.
2. I want to become more familiar with my surroundings. This requires attention and awareness.
3. I do not want to get so caught up in the past or the future, that I do not enjoy the now. If you're in the habit of anticipating the future or on ruminating/reminiscing about the past, you're never really enjoying where you are at.
4. I will be able to dispel negative thoughts and/or anxiety more quickly. By being mindful and simply allowing my feelings to happen and paying attention to my physiology, I will be more efficient at redirecting my focus to more constructive thoughts and feelings.
5. It will help me become more in tune with my senses. I will be able to see more clearly, hear more profoundly, touch more sensitively, taste more fully, and smell more deeply. I will be able to perceive more of what life has to offer my human limits.
6. I will be better at "thinking before reacting". By being aware of my thoughts/feelings etc. I will more carefully consider my reaction to a given situation. Therefore, I'll make wiser choices.
7. I will be able to develop a new vigor for life. By being mindful I can savor the moment, notice things that are novel to me, and appreciate what I have more fully. Enthusiasm for the NOW!
8. I will be more successful with my clients. Not only will I be more adept at being active and present with my clients, but I will be able to teach them what I have learned about mindfulness.
9. I will gain greater satisfaction from my work. By staying in the present moment I will be immersed in my work, rather than anticipating when my shift is over or focusing on the dread I may feel related to an upcoming task.
10. I'll be able to enjoy my free time more. Rather than preoccupying myself with stressors, thoughts of work, or the future, I will be able to relish the moments where I am most content. When a moment may seem dull, I'll see the opportunity to make it exciting!
11. I will be more in touch with "reality" or the existence of multiple realities. When you are mindful, you start to understand that your unexamined feelings/reactions to a situations do not represent ultimate reality. Being in the moment gives you the chance to see things you might not ordinarily see, and break from typical interpretations of the world around you. Less assuming, more observing and questioning.
12. I will learn more about myself, others, and the world around me. I love exploring new knowledge and insights. Awareness is where it all begins.
13. I will be able to make more positive changes for myself and others. Without awareness, areas for growth or improvement cannot be pursued. To solve a problem, you must first know there is a problem.
I'm sure there are other reasons that I have not listed, but this is a good start. Currently I am reading a book called "1,001 Ways to Live in the Moment," which has been helping me begin my awareness adventures. I look forward to sharing my discoveries.
Well I'm off to the next moment! Oh wait, I'm already here.
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